Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize