Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
