I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I won't apologize to a one balled man
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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