I must be too annoying 4 u.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
