and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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