he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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