No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
