I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
