You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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