Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This toilet bowl is my home.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
