she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
