I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
