Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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