Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
