I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
