did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
3pm strippers are depressing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
being pregnant is like rehab
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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