you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
