remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
