If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
