come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
