Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
