Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
