He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
be right there i have to get my cape
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
that is very illegal...i love you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
