i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
