I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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