how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize