I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
