She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize