Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
