So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
