y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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