Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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