So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
