so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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