me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize