Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
