how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Michael Bay diarrhea
false alarm. still invincible.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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