Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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