I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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