I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
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You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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