my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
