I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she peed on how many people?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
