You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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