I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
