And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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