the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
