Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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