??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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