i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This is my gift to your gina
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
