Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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