ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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