Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
