Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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