i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
