Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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