8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
