I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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