Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
