I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
