all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
