Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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