Tell her she can't have a vagina
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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