You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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