woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
