ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
