So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I touched a dick in church today
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