You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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