She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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