i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
