Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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