Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize