On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
