just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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