they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
