she woke up with a sticky ear
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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